A Funny Joke

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me... her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate, because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is: ALWAYS keep your condoms in your car.

A humourous secretary

Few years back, I worked in a logistics company. The secretary to my boss was a competent, multi-tasking person who earned high respect from us.
One day, a colleague receive a call from his client. After the call, he shouted & asked, "Anybody knows where Batang Berjuntai is? I need to quote my client."
No one seems to know where the location is. Then he turned to the super woman for help. However, she was very busy carrying out her work. The man shouted to her, "Hey! Did you hear me? I am asking you where Batang Berjuntai is; between Selangor (central Malaysia) and Johor (Southern M'sia)? Or between Selangor (central) and Perak (Northern)?"
The secretary replied, "between your legs.."

A Watch that went to the MOON.

Another reason why mechanical watches are more expensive than electronic watches are because the mechanical watches can still function under extreme weather if the lubricant used is appropriate. The liquid screen of electronic watches may freeze under extreme temperatures. Thus, Armstrong wore an OMEGA (mechanical watch) when he stepped on the moon instead of electronic watch. A battery watch cannot withstand this extreme temperature too.

你的墨鏡比我黑

七八年前，和友人共乘一車到遠處工幹。在大道上飛快奔馳着，快活無比！口里哼着歌曲，心情棒極！
突然，被前方兩名交通警栽停車子。我心里想，完蛋！下一秒一個念頭，幸好是朋友在開車。當交警走過來時，友人劈頭就問: "多少？"。我的媽呀！有這樣問人的嗎？交警頓了一會，答: "先生，這道路時速八十公里，您跑一百，請出示身份證及駕車執照。"
我後悔了，早知道我開車就好了！當交警拿了證照望一望我友，說: "先生，為什麼你戴墨鏡？"。友人毫不客氣地頂回一句: "那你又戴？"。我心里冒出一百個一千個后悔，想: "你這不是在自找麻煩，壽星公嫌命長？"。
交警鐵青着臉答: "我的不夠你的黑！"
友人立即道: "所以我沒看見你，被你看見，被你抓了！"

賭一百摸胸不碰衣

十九歲那一年，我們幾個男生坐在咖啡館里談天說地。一人說: "你們有和女生玩過摸胸不碰衣的游戲嗎？"。
几個男生都好奇地問: " 可能嗎？"
他說: "我們賭一賭吧！如果我能，你輸一塊錢。如果不能我輸一百，如果你是女生，你會玩嗎？"
不知是誰答: "也許吧！"
他說: "那好！你就把手放在她的胸前一兩寸的地方，來回撫摸，問對方可有感覺。當她説沒有時，重复數次，問同樣問題。在第三四次后，直接了當地抓下去！然後掏出一百元，放下就走，說我輸了！"
几個男生看着他: "這樣也行？"
更絕的是，我問: "一百元摸一次女人胸會不會貴一點？"
他答: "你怎麼那樣笨？賭五塊錢不行嗎？"
@&#!....

本人嚴重警告，千萬別用此方法去玩！萬一惹上官司，本人並不負責。

女強人或是強女人？

今天和一班女同事要到市里上課，分別駕了兩輛汽車到了第一個目的地后再共乘一輛到市里。我駕着第二輛車子，追得好苦。
上了她們的車子后，我抱怨她們駕得好快！
她們說: "用V-power汽油吧！快，省，強！"，也提義我用Semi Synthetic潤滑油。
我吃驚地看着她們說: "這應該是男人才會的事，怎麼妳們都比我清楚？"。
她們答: "當然！我們是強女人！"
我問: "不是女強人嗎？"
她們說: "不同！女強人什麼都要管，強女人是什麼都要懂。况且，男人可接受強女人，但不是女強人。。。"
我啞口無言。。。
那妳是強女人還是女強人？

Merchandise/Products are more expensive when it is rare.

One of the reason why machanical watches are more expensive than electronic watches is because machanical watches require highly expertise skills in human assembly to achieve time accuracy. Mass production in such situation are not possible.