After so long, which I thought that I have already forgiven & forgot! However, the method of u treating me still remind me on that incident! The hurt is still there but nothing lesser! Why are u not treating me the best u can, but, still taking me for granted??
To the Fucking bastrad!!
U r curse for the rest of my life & u r fucking lucky that to be the only one I would curse & curse non-stop! All my friends know how nice I m & no one ever see me hate anybody like that! U r damn fucking lucky to have taken me seriuosly into this kind extend, itz mean that u r FUCKING slut!!
Fuck u..
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Happiness Come From The Heart of Appreciation
A great man was those who can carry a heart of appreciation even under the greatest adversity.
Congratualation to you if you can wake up healthy in the morning because there are people more than a million who can't live longer than a week.
If you never gone thru the suffer of a war, loneliness of being captured in prison, pain of being torture, starving for insufficient of foods, you are more lucky than 500 millions of people.
If you can freely participate in any religion activities without being capture in prison & being physically torture, you're more lucky than 1.5 billions of people.
If you have foods remain in your refrigerator, clothing & shelter, you are richer than 70% population of the world.
If you have saving in bank & have some note in your wallet, congratualation to you because you are definately 100% a rich man catagory.
If you can walk with smile & always carrying a thankgiving heart, you're definately a lucky man because many of us understand it but fail to do it.
If you can hold someone's hand, provide a hug, tapping someone's shoulder, congratualation to you because you have the ability to heal.
If you can read this message, you're double lucky because someone is caring about you & there are 1.5 billion of people couldn't even read.
Perhaps you would never know how lucky you are?
Congratualation to you if you can wake up healthy in the morning because there are people more than a million who can't live longer than a week.
If you never gone thru the suffer of a war, loneliness of being captured in prison, pain of being torture, starving for insufficient of foods, you are more lucky than 500 millions of people.
If you can freely participate in any religion activities without being capture in prison & being physically torture, you're more lucky than 1.5 billions of people.
If you have foods remain in your refrigerator, clothing & shelter, you are richer than 70% population of the world.
If you have saving in bank & have some note in your wallet, congratualation to you because you are definately 100% a rich man catagory.
If you can walk with smile & always carrying a thankgiving heart, you're definately a lucky man because many of us understand it but fail to do it.
If you can hold someone's hand, provide a hug, tapping someone's shoulder, congratualation to you because you have the ability to heal.
If you can read this message, you're double lucky because someone is caring about you & there are 1.5 billion of people couldn't even read.
Perhaps you would never know how lucky you are?
Monday, August 1, 2011
Age can grow, figure can change, but love is forever
Today I realized you are checking on my phone, I know what are you looking for! I felt amazingly comfort seeing you check on my phone. At least, I started to feel that you care! At least, I felt you have nothing more to hide.. I enjoy life being with you.. Struggling hard to make more become meaningless if you're not around. Age can grow, figure can change, but, love is everlasting.. I love you.. Thank you for being my companion sharing life together.. Your presence & love provided me the courage & spirit to overcome obstacle, I believe our marriage will grow stronger & our life will become better..
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
success
Success seems to be connected with action.
Successful people keep moving.
They make mistake, but they don't quit
- Conrad Hilton
Three sentences for getting success:
Know more than other
Work more than other
Expect less than other
- William Shakespeare
Successful people keep moving.
They make mistake, but they don't quit
- Conrad Hilton
Three sentences for getting success:
Know more than other
Work more than other
Expect less than other
- William Shakespeare
I thank God
Thank you for reconcilation. The pass had nothing to compare to the importancy of our marriage. I thank God for providing me another opportunity & thank you for your silent love.
Seven years are insufficient for me
I stay by your side looking at you while you were sleeping. I felt strong love within my heart. I recall back the romantic moment and the quarrelling moment that we went through together.. I felt this seven years of experience are really special & precious to me.
I did treasured the moment being together with you. Unfortunately, I still felt regreted that I didn't treasure & hold it tight 100%. I still missed a lot of precious moment that I should have do it better! I felt this seven years experiences are a little too fast & too short for me. Seven years being with you are insufficient for me. If I would have another opportunity to restart it all over again from the day we first met, perhaps I would have do it differently!
Deep in my heart, I wish to hold you, kiss you, smell you & make love to you. But, I am too afraid of your rejection! I dare not even come close to you beside watching you from a distance while you were sleeping.
Tonight, I realize how adorable you are even while you were sleeping. A woman solely belongs to me in this passed 7 years and every night slept beside me! I don't even realized that you have this adorable sleeping style. How many more things in life that I have already missed?
Monday, July 25, 2011
won't regret me for being ur pass
I walked through life with nothing until the day I met you; because I always think that love was nothing until the minute that I saw you.
Everything changes ever since you came along; day by day you prove me that my perception was wrong.
Memorizing our first met are so irresistable, noticing that you are single make me feel unbelievable; your smile gradually captured my heart unnoticeable, until a moment make me realized that you are already irreplaceable.
I thank Allah, for sending me you, my love, my wife, my treasure; I praise Allah, for sending me you, my love that is beyond measure.
I promise to hug and kiss and hold you each and everyday; I promise a love with devotion that will never fade away.
I will admire the blessing of your boundless love; because I know that you are a true gift from Heavenly above.
This is not a game of chance that we play; This is true love that I swear is committed to stay.
I will treasure each and every day as if it were our last; And at the end of your life you won't regret me for being your past.
Everything changes ever since you came along; day by day you prove me that my perception was wrong.
Memorizing our first met are so irresistable, noticing that you are single make me feel unbelievable; your smile gradually captured my heart unnoticeable, until a moment make me realized that you are already irreplaceable.
I thank Allah, for sending me you, my love, my wife, my treasure; I praise Allah, for sending me you, my love that is beyond measure.
I promise to hug and kiss and hold you each and everyday; I promise a love with devotion that will never fade away.
I will admire the blessing of your boundless love; because I know that you are a true gift from Heavenly above.
This is not a game of chance that we play; This is true love that I swear is committed to stay.
I will treasure each and every day as if it were our last; And at the end of your life you won't regret me for being your past.
Perempuan memang sebegini
Kepada cintaku yang paling dihargai,
Masih ingat karanganmu yang diberi? Tajuknya "Perempuan memang begini".
Dalam karangan berikut terdapat sebahagian sebegini:
Andai lelaki tahu..Apabila perempuan menjadi degil, dia bukan bermaksud untuk menjadi degil tapi dia mahu melihat sejauh mana lelaki itu mampu bersabar dengan kerenahnya. Percayalah, hati perempuan itu sangat lembut. Andai kena caranya, jangan terkejut kalau akhirnya dia menukar fikirannya dalam masa sesaat.
Andai lelaki tahu..Apabila perempuan berkata, “tolong tinggalkan saya!”, dia tidak bermaksud menyuruh anda pergi selamanya. Dia hanya mahu menenangkan fikirannya sebentar saja. Apabila dia kembali tenang, percayalah dia akan mencari anda semula. Itu tandanya dia benar-benar menyintai anda. Perempuan sukar untuk mengawal perasaan. Dia terlalu emosional. Tapi dialah yang paling menyayangi anda dan sangat sensitif dengan perubahan pada diri anda.
Aku dah jawabmu dengan perasaan sebagai seorang lelaki, ada tak kamu baca dan faham jawapanku dengan teliti?
Andai hubungan itu tanggungjawab bersama-sama, lelaki setuju apabila perempuan menjadi degil sebab nak menguji kesabaran lelaki, tetapi risaunya para perempuan tak tahu mana nak berhenti.. Dan bodohnya lelaki mu tidak jumpa jalan untuk melembutkan hati, akhirnya "Ego" kedua2 pihak menang, satu hubungan sepanjang hayatnya rugi!!
Andai hubungan itu tanggungjawab bersama-sama, lelaki itu biasanya hati lurus / otaknya bodoh! Apabila perempuan berkata, “tolong tinggalkan saya!”, Lelaki biasanya anggapkan menyuruhnya pergi selama-lama. Bagi tahu lelaki mu, anda perlu sedikit masa bertenangan dan bagi satu tarikh yang tentu untuk membuat keputusan. Risaunya apabila perempuan balik mencari lelaki anda semula. Lelaki anda sudah dapat perempuan baru jikalau tak buat sedemikian!
Sekarang aku memang tak jumpa jalan yang boleh melembutkan hatimu dan tiap-tiap hari tindaklakumu "Tinggalkan aku" yang menyakitkan hati!
Aku dah letih & tak tahu apa yang patut dilakukan lagi. Aku risau kehilangan kesabaran untuk mencuba akhirnya "ego kedua-dua pihak menang, dan satu hubungan sepanjang hayatnya rugi!"
Walaupun mungkin kita akan kesal suatu hari sebelum kita mati, tetapi tak boleh patahkan masa untuk bermula lagi.
Sila pegangkan aku dengan sekuat-kuat hati sebelum hatiku mati. Aku betul-betul tak jumpa jalan baru kecuali jalan mati. Janganlah kamu terus keraskan hati. Aku perlukan dorongan untuk mecuba lagi. Tanpa dorongan pastinya hubangan kita akan mati.
Maafkanlah aku lagi sekali.
Masih ingat karanganmu yang diberi? Tajuknya "Perempuan memang begini".
Dalam karangan berikut terdapat sebahagian sebegini:
Andai lelaki tahu..Apabila perempuan menjadi degil, dia bukan bermaksud untuk menjadi degil tapi dia mahu melihat sejauh mana lelaki itu mampu bersabar dengan kerenahnya. Percayalah, hati perempuan itu sangat lembut. Andai kena caranya, jangan terkejut kalau akhirnya dia menukar fikirannya dalam masa sesaat.
Andai lelaki tahu..Apabila perempuan berkata, “tolong tinggalkan saya!”, dia tidak bermaksud menyuruh anda pergi selamanya. Dia hanya mahu menenangkan fikirannya sebentar saja. Apabila dia kembali tenang, percayalah dia akan mencari anda semula. Itu tandanya dia benar-benar menyintai anda. Perempuan sukar untuk mengawal perasaan. Dia terlalu emosional. Tapi dialah yang paling menyayangi anda dan sangat sensitif dengan perubahan pada diri anda.
Aku dah jawabmu dengan perasaan sebagai seorang lelaki, ada tak kamu baca dan faham jawapanku dengan teliti?
Andai hubungan itu tanggungjawab bersama-sama, lelaki setuju apabila perempuan menjadi degil sebab nak menguji kesabaran lelaki, tetapi risaunya para perempuan tak tahu mana nak berhenti.. Dan bodohnya lelaki mu tidak jumpa jalan untuk melembutkan hati, akhirnya "Ego" kedua2 pihak menang, satu hubungan sepanjang hayatnya rugi!!
Andai hubungan itu tanggungjawab bersama-sama, lelaki itu biasanya hati lurus / otaknya bodoh! Apabila perempuan berkata, “tolong tinggalkan saya!”, Lelaki biasanya anggapkan menyuruhnya pergi selama-lama. Bagi tahu lelaki mu, anda perlu sedikit masa bertenangan dan bagi satu tarikh yang tentu untuk membuat keputusan. Risaunya apabila perempuan balik mencari lelaki anda semula. Lelaki anda sudah dapat perempuan baru jikalau tak buat sedemikian!
Sekarang aku memang tak jumpa jalan yang boleh melembutkan hatimu dan tiap-tiap hari tindaklakumu "Tinggalkan aku" yang menyakitkan hati!
Aku dah letih & tak tahu apa yang patut dilakukan lagi. Aku risau kehilangan kesabaran untuk mencuba akhirnya "ego kedua-dua pihak menang, dan satu hubungan sepanjang hayatnya rugi!"
Walaupun mungkin kita akan kesal suatu hari sebelum kita mati, tetapi tak boleh patahkan masa untuk bermula lagi.
Sila pegangkan aku dengan sekuat-kuat hati sebelum hatiku mati. Aku betul-betul tak jumpa jalan baru kecuali jalan mati. Janganlah kamu terus keraskan hati. Aku perlukan dorongan untuk mecuba lagi. Tanpa dorongan pastinya hubangan kita akan mati.
Maafkanlah aku lagi sekali.
Tears of the Love
Love is amazing,
When we first met it is so exciting,
Going through obstacle hand in hand provide us the binding,
Loving you is still my best blessing
Having a spouse love you unconditional is amazing,
Making love that combine two different hearts together is still so exciting,
A piece of paper we vow committed to each other provide us the binding,
Having you by my side is still my greatest blessing
Obstacle by obstacle we went thru with God's blessing,
Gradually overlook each other treasure as time passing,
Living together become a habit in stead of loving,
Finally ended up with the sad ending
Tears of love are dripping,
For the one who see and realizing,
Trying whatever he could to make the relationship surviving,
Unfortunately a true love relationship had finally become a trading
Heart shatter & tears falling,
Hold a fregile relationship carefully that is easily breaking,
Hands trembling & body shivering,
Wonder if the spouse see & noticing?
Tears of love are still dripping,
Great sorrow hidding in abyss that nobody see but dark, cold and killing,
Drowning, suffocating & helpless is my only feeling,
Only your can pull me out from abyss if you are willing
Would you soften your heart & lower down your pride for reconciling?
To heal the wound of the poor man who love you unconditional & still waiting?
Even without words but he had already proof his action with uncountable love without the hope of returning,
Please spare him another chance to love you with his true love & his caring
Only you are the one can heal the tears of love which are still dripping
Cateyepeep
Saturday, July 23, 2011
There Are Symptom!
There are symptom!
You asked, "what is your favourate dishes of my cooking?" & I asked back:"Why?" & you replied:"So that I can cheer you up if I had done something wrong!"
You also asked, "How many women you had slept with on our bed?" & we ended up with a fight! (you asked such silly question probably out of guilt, so that you want to catch me doing something that I have done equally wrong!)
You also asked, "What if I am away from home for around 2 weeks?" & I replied,"What for? Are you going to have an affair and leave your beloved hubby & son at home?", you replied,"Got something!". No further clarification.. And finally I allowed you go with 100% full confident in you..
You quit a new job employment suddenly, not because you are having quarrel with me, but because you want to get an opportunity to fly away!
You have a big fight in a shopping mall just because I held you iphone, not because I messed up with you program, because you have something to hide!
You mentioned that your purpose of travelling was to hunt for an new employment, but I saw only places of not relevant that you tag in foursquare while you were travelling and none hospital was being tag!
You swear in God's name that you didn't cheat me when I found out, but, you dare not do your prayer until we have another fight!
Do you know after so many incident happened I still believe in you?
Are you not curious about it? Base on what sense that I still have trust in you?
If you want to know? Spare me your love like you had just fall in love with me, I would let you know someday some how!
If you had already given up the relationship, no point I explain..
I wish that I would have an opportunity to explain..
You asked, "what is your favourate dishes of my cooking?" & I asked back:"Why?" & you replied:"So that I can cheer you up if I had done something wrong!"
You also asked, "How many women you had slept with on our bed?" & we ended up with a fight! (you asked such silly question probably out of guilt, so that you want to catch me doing something that I have done equally wrong!)
You also asked, "What if I am away from home for around 2 weeks?" & I replied,"What for? Are you going to have an affair and leave your beloved hubby & son at home?", you replied,"Got something!". No further clarification.. And finally I allowed you go with 100% full confident in you..
You quit a new job employment suddenly, not because you are having quarrel with me, but because you want to get an opportunity to fly away!
You have a big fight in a shopping mall just because I held you iphone, not because I messed up with you program, because you have something to hide!
You mentioned that your purpose of travelling was to hunt for an new employment, but I saw only places of not relevant that you tag in foursquare while you were travelling and none hospital was being tag!
You swear in God's name that you didn't cheat me when I found out, but, you dare not do your prayer until we have another fight!
Do you know after so many incident happened I still believe in you?
Are you not curious about it? Base on what sense that I still have trust in you?
If you want to know? Spare me your love like you had just fall in love with me, I would let you know someday some how!
If you had already given up the relationship, no point I explain..
I wish that I would have an opportunity to explain..
I guarded our house like a rottweiler
While you were away to Middle East for your new job employment. I guarded our house like a rottweiler!
No any female creature can cross over this boundery!
My fadelity is 100% vow with commitment. I didn't went out meeting up with my ex or call them.
My entire spirit was with you, my heart flew oversea cross over mountain for you! Because I remember I wrote an article name "How to provide the sense of security to the man you love in the way he want you to". And inside the article, I was touch with Johnston condition where he was flying frequently and have no doubt of his wife fadelity & sure that his children will be well taken care by the wife!
I just wish that you can felt the same..
Do you still remember my answer?
Do you remember while we are dating that you asked me, "What if I meet up with Mr.Demon?"
Do you still remember my answer?
You are free to do anything you want. But, if you would be seeing him, please do not come back looking for me again.
I guess you had forgotten!
Do you know what is the answer I get from my recent prayer? God gave me 3 chances in my marriage! I should have given you the equal amount of chances too.. I don't know how many chances you have used? But, I beg you not to reach 3.. Please I beg you..
Do you still remember my answer?
You are free to do anything you want. But, if you would be seeing him, please do not come back looking for me again.
I guess you had forgotten!
Do you know what is the answer I get from my recent prayer? God gave me 3 chances in my marriage! I should have given you the equal amount of chances too.. I don't know how many chances you have used? But, I beg you not to reach 3.. Please I beg you..
Are you going to let me go now?
Still remember when I asked you before we got marry? "Are you sure that I am the man that you are long search for?"
You answer firmly,"Yes! You are.."
You also insisted that the women who let me go are STUPID!
That the time you reassured my value & let me felt how precious I am..
Are you going to let me go now?
Please do not let go of your hand.. Please!!
Friday, July 22, 2011
A Sensitive Man with Hidden Macho
A guy friend of mine told me that I am with a woman heart! He said I am too sensitive & emotional..
Well! I admitted with silent. In my heart, I recall an article I read from the net. If your woman has choosen another man over you especially if you are married, most probably the choosen man have the virtue that you do not prossess and he should be better or higher level than you in any aspect at least inside her heart. Moreover, they will choose a person that is more willing to listen and communicate better, at least more in tune than you are!
Is this the reason I lost in the battle? I am not macho enough for you? I am not in tune with you? Well! I guess you have overlook a lot of things in life especially when you prossess them. Remember there was once we were in a restaurant near by our house? There were two man fighting a few shops away and one of the man was carrying weapon in his hand and were running toward our direction? Ask yourself! How many second you realized that you are block by a person in front of you? Who is that person? What is the reason that he stand in front of you within split of second?
In today civilisation, you don't need man carrying weapon to protect you. You don't have a chance of seeing a man fight in blood and wound easily! You will only see how macho is your man when situation happen.
I am not in tune with you? Did you allow me to be in tune with you? A man within hidden macho characteristic but covering up with woman sensitivity can not in tune with you? Then what is the reason you blacklisted so many girls around me? Do you need me to name them one by one? Why woman like talking to me if I am not an in tune person?
Hi.. Mr.Demon! My love consider you are a special person who deserve her true friendship! I irrespect you for your unconsiderate brain! Or I should say you are brainless? You had encourage a true friend to commit into some mistake that without any proof to show the both of you are innocent! You are damn f****** stupid as a truth friend or I would define you as having hidden purpose that my love blindly just couldn't see! If you are so call macho & in tune with my love! I challenge you to marry her if you had truly distroy our family since you are already single now! I want to see where your guts and balls are? If you are only fooling around, go get someone else!
Well! I admitted with silent. In my heart, I recall an article I read from the net. If your woman has choosen another man over you especially if you are married, most probably the choosen man have the virtue that you do not prossess and he should be better or higher level than you in any aspect at least inside her heart. Moreover, they will choose a person that is more willing to listen and communicate better, at least more in tune than you are!
Is this the reason I lost in the battle? I am not macho enough for you? I am not in tune with you? Well! I guess you have overlook a lot of things in life especially when you prossess them. Remember there was once we were in a restaurant near by our house? There were two man fighting a few shops away and one of the man was carrying weapon in his hand and were running toward our direction? Ask yourself! How many second you realized that you are block by a person in front of you? Who is that person? What is the reason that he stand in front of you within split of second?
In today civilisation, you don't need man carrying weapon to protect you. You don't have a chance of seeing a man fight in blood and wound easily! You will only see how macho is your man when situation happen.
I am not in tune with you? Did you allow me to be in tune with you? A man within hidden macho characteristic but covering up with woman sensitivity can not in tune with you? Then what is the reason you blacklisted so many girls around me? Do you need me to name them one by one? Why woman like talking to me if I am not an in tune person?
Hi.. Mr.Demon! My love consider you are a special person who deserve her true friendship! I irrespect you for your unconsiderate brain! Or I should say you are brainless? You had encourage a true friend to commit into some mistake that without any proof to show the both of you are innocent! You are damn f****** stupid as a truth friend or I would define you as having hidden purpose that my love blindly just couldn't see! If you are so call macho & in tune with my love! I challenge you to marry her if you had truly distroy our family since you are already single now! I want to see where your guts and balls are? If you are only fooling around, go get someone else!
A Letter to My Beloved Son (Amazing Chines Astrology Fortune Telling)
I never thought that a Blog can be my diary someday!! Maybe no one is reading it? Maybe my story would maintain silent forever. However, I just wish u, my beloved son can see it someday somehow.
I used to learn chinese astrology fortune telling. I am not professional. But, I learn it during my most miserable moment & out of my owned interest. A moment later, I quit. I quit because I am scare! Whatever I read & forecast has become reality.
1) I learn it when I divorced with my ex-wife. Result show I m seperated & still attached with some unseen string in my relationship. This is exactly the moment that I try to pull back the relation within the 3 years of trying in my age of 24 to 27. I was quite happy that the skill I learned was amazing & accurate!
2) Then, I calculated backward, the biggest chances of getting married was during 20 yrs old. It was also accurate because I married my ex-wife at the age of 20.
3) Later on I totally give up my relationship with her. I then calculate again due to another 2 unsuccessful relationships. Result show I m going to get marry next year. I was shock! I broken up with the 2 pretty ladies after I gave up my relationship with my ex-wife! I am totally unattach! & result shown my second marriage would be the first half of next year! It was August that time! & that come to reality & it happened in the coming year April which I married ur mother.
4) I then again calculated. I have 3 marriages in my entire life. I should have son only at the age of late 30th or beginning of 40th. I don't have much chances being close to my child/children. I should have die lonely. I may die at the age around early 40' and if I cross over this life treat, I will live long till 60-70th. I am shock & scare.. I dare not calculate the exact date of my death! I quit enhance my skills in the chinese astrology technique.
I married your mother during 30 years old & she was pregnant with you around half year later. Thus, make your mother & me choose a girl's name and shopping with little girl's dresses since I insisted you should be a daughter. However, when doctors informed us that your mother pregnancy was a little boy, I felt shock but happy. I thought that I had broken the chain of fate! Because you were born healthly while I am only 31 years old that time.
Thus, I spent exceptional extra careful, patient, time and love for you. I was worry that I would have to split up with you someday. Thus, I fully committed myself in this marriage with devotion, patient, love & manage it as good as I can. Beside that, I am actually trying to avoid my third marriage. I treasured each & every moment being with you, my little baby! I can do almost all sort of things taking care of a baby comparing to majority fathers except bathing you while you were few months old. I am afraid due to my rudeness I fracture your little bone.. This I found more love & virtue of your mother when being together and slowly deeply fall into her love. I have to admit that I truly love her only after some time of our marriage.
Today, I am at the age of 38. Something happened totally shaken the marriage between your mother & me. I am scare now! I knew if our marriage doesn't work out, it would had me falling back to the fate chain! It hurt me a lot! The only comfort for me is that I had did my best to treasure you and your mother while we are being together. I am still trying hard to secure the family & the relationship with your mother. I do not know what is the outcome of my trying? Your mother is a lovely pretty woman but dominant. I am not sure does she realize that I would have a life danger treat which might cause me lose my life in the coming 40? And hopefully it is not because of my unstable emotion that I committed suicide due to the failure of our marriage! Of cause I don't feel like commiting suicide now, but, if I do not control, God know what is going to happen? I am still do not understand what is the cause of my 40' life treatening danger?? Sickness? Marriage? Accident?
I read my facebook posting today. I scroll back from the most recent to almost 6 months ago. I can see the path of my life and emotional fluctuation within this period of time. I confirm that I had already done the best I could in our family & shouldn't regret of it. However, I am greedy! I wish more from fate! I want to be happy with you & your mother forever! However I couldn't manage it!
Please forgive me, my beloved son! I may not be able to hold you tightly in my arms and as well as your mother! I love you & your mom!
I don't know what is the result of my trying? Perhaps you don't even have a chance to read this article or understand what your dad personality (character / virtue) since you are so young now. Information about me may be (emphasize: May be) distorted by your future guardian if I couldn't manage to save my marriage since my fate was design that I should have die lonely or regret. (even with or without someone beside, my heart is still feeling lonely or some point of regret according to my astrology fortune telling)
Things had already gradually happened according to my reading! I had did whatever I could and still trying at some point some way! I hope I won't be dying so soon that I couldn't even have a chance to rectify things in life.
Please forgive me if I fail! Please love your mother for me. It is still very painful when I think of it. Please accept her everything include all her virtues together with her mistake for what your dad had not fulfill. I love the both you even I am physically with or without being together with you all. May God bless you, my love(s) forever..
Your beloved Father,
Cateyepeep
Remark: My dearest beloved son, you will have a lot of girls falling for you when you grow up. Kindly be careful & manage it wisely. Be faithful & loyal to the one you pick. Your Daddy love you and wishes you with my best blessing ever.
I used to learn chinese astrology fortune telling. I am not professional. But, I learn it during my most miserable moment & out of my owned interest. A moment later, I quit. I quit because I am scare! Whatever I read & forecast has become reality.
1) I learn it when I divorced with my ex-wife. Result show I m seperated & still attached with some unseen string in my relationship. This is exactly the moment that I try to pull back the relation within the 3 years of trying in my age of 24 to 27. I was quite happy that the skill I learned was amazing & accurate!
2) Then, I calculated backward, the biggest chances of getting married was during 20 yrs old. It was also accurate because I married my ex-wife at the age of 20.
3) Later on I totally give up my relationship with her. I then calculate again due to another 2 unsuccessful relationships. Result show I m going to get marry next year. I was shock! I broken up with the 2 pretty ladies after I gave up my relationship with my ex-wife! I am totally unattach! & result shown my second marriage would be the first half of next year! It was August that time! & that come to reality & it happened in the coming year April which I married ur mother.
4) I then again calculated. I have 3 marriages in my entire life. I should have son only at the age of late 30th or beginning of 40th. I don't have much chances being close to my child/children. I should have die lonely. I may die at the age around early 40' and if I cross over this life treat, I will live long till 60-70th. I am shock & scare.. I dare not calculate the exact date of my death! I quit enhance my skills in the chinese astrology technique.
I married your mother during 30 years old & she was pregnant with you around half year later. Thus, make your mother & me choose a girl's name and shopping with little girl's dresses since I insisted you should be a daughter. However, when doctors informed us that your mother pregnancy was a little boy, I felt shock but happy. I thought that I had broken the chain of fate! Because you were born healthly while I am only 31 years old that time.
Thus, I spent exceptional extra careful, patient, time and love for you. I was worry that I would have to split up with you someday. Thus, I fully committed myself in this marriage with devotion, patient, love & manage it as good as I can. Beside that, I am actually trying to avoid my third marriage. I treasured each & every moment being with you, my little baby! I can do almost all sort of things taking care of a baby comparing to majority fathers except bathing you while you were few months old. I am afraid due to my rudeness I fracture your little bone.. This I found more love & virtue of your mother when being together and slowly deeply fall into her love. I have to admit that I truly love her only after some time of our marriage.
Today, I am at the age of 38. Something happened totally shaken the marriage between your mother & me. I am scare now! I knew if our marriage doesn't work out, it would had me falling back to the fate chain! It hurt me a lot! The only comfort for me is that I had did my best to treasure you and your mother while we are being together. I am still trying hard to secure the family & the relationship with your mother. I do not know what is the outcome of my trying? Your mother is a lovely pretty woman but dominant. I am not sure does she realize that I would have a life danger treat which might cause me lose my life in the coming 40? And hopefully it is not because of my unstable emotion that I committed suicide due to the failure of our marriage! Of cause I don't feel like commiting suicide now, but, if I do not control, God know what is going to happen? I am still do not understand what is the cause of my 40' life treatening danger?? Sickness? Marriage? Accident?
I read my facebook posting today. I scroll back from the most recent to almost 6 months ago. I can see the path of my life and emotional fluctuation within this period of time. I confirm that I had already done the best I could in our family & shouldn't regret of it. However, I am greedy! I wish more from fate! I want to be happy with you & your mother forever! However I couldn't manage it!
Please forgive me, my beloved son! I may not be able to hold you tightly in my arms and as well as your mother! I love you & your mom!
I don't know what is the result of my trying? Perhaps you don't even have a chance to read this article or understand what your dad personality (character / virtue) since you are so young now. Information about me may be (emphasize: May be) distorted by your future guardian if I couldn't manage to save my marriage since my fate was design that I should have die lonely or regret. (even with or without someone beside, my heart is still feeling lonely or some point of regret according to my astrology fortune telling)
Things had already gradually happened according to my reading! I had did whatever I could and still trying at some point some way! I hope I won't be dying so soon that I couldn't even have a chance to rectify things in life.
Please forgive me if I fail! Please love your mother for me. It is still very painful when I think of it. Please accept her everything include all her virtues together with her mistake for what your dad had not fulfill. I love the both you even I am physically with or without being together with you all. May God bless you, my love(s) forever..
Your beloved Father,
Cateyepeep
Remark: My dearest beloved son, you will have a lot of girls falling for you when you grow up. Kindly be careful & manage it wisely. Be faithful & loyal to the one you pick. Your Daddy love you and wishes you with my best blessing ever.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
When a women change
When a woman had change their heart, whatever u do, it's useless.. Woman can be touch by a single sentence from a man she love but will not appreciate u if u can remove entire mountain for her if she doesn't love u anymore. Thanks for God for thy inspiration on how & what to do.. It's not easy, but, please provide me strength. I will do it according to thy will.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Enermy of Threat
Thank you for challenging my stat,
Because of you I worked hard nervous with sweat,
My son and me will forever remember your threat,
With anger and hatred we forever combat
Sunday, July 17, 2011
The Sheild of a Marriage
The sheild for marriage is commitment. Committed couples hv an attitude of winning, of success & are willing to take suggestions, try new strategies, demonstrate & verbalize thru encouragement & reassurance. It grows over time with careful attention & nurturing. Commitment is a foundation piece that creates the climate for trust & for love to grow. It also affect the ability of u & ur spouse to become intimate & operate as soul mates
Saturday, July 16, 2011
People Respond to Life Better with Encouragement
Yesterday was a great night! You jokingly agreed that you would try your best to be honest with me finally. That remind me an article from Barbara Bartlein, RN, MSW, we acknowledge our own humanity. The majority of us try our best. People respond to life better when they receive encouragement instead of critism. I felt I shouldn't go further into the topic. You should know what to do.. Thus, we have a wonderful night being together. A very very special night after our previous quarrel. I wish that we are forever so harmony & lovely.
Your influence is greater than my expectation
I knew that I m not emotionally fit to work recently. I knew that I could not concerntrate on anything but you. And I did not realize that the impact has be so great up to this level. Even today the minor accident happen because I couldn't stop thinking of you. My tears almost fall out during the accident because the car accident had proven me that your influence has be greater than my expectation. The saddest truth is when you reached home, u don't even talk to me, console me or ask me anything regarding the accident. I really do not know what to do..
Friday, July 15, 2011
The Hidden Bruises & Swelling
After the deep cut of my hand many years ago. I always have the conscious of my own emotion reaching up to the extreme limit. There are two times in life that I totally lost control that I know if I have any dangerous items on my hand, I will have no doubt to kill myself without hesitation. It may sound silly & childish to you, but, I know that is a fact. One time It was during a drive, I was so unstable and tempted to pull my steering off the road at a very high speed. I fought so hard to resist the temptation & slowly pull down the car & stopping at the road side for more than half an hour! The other one was in a few night ago, I am tempted to took a knife to poke into my heart because of it pain! Thanks to my child cane! It was the cane that I quickly hold in stead of the knife & continuous beating myself untill I couldn't hold on to the pain. I had bruises, minor cut and swollen all over my leg. Luckily I am wearing long pants that covering up my wound everyday..
Simple Greet Melt My Heart
I received ur greet before u went out to work today. It had be second time within this 2 days. A simple greet just melt my heart. What is so difficult? Even if I m not a simple person to satisfy, but, every little thing that you do, I treasure it. And most importantly, it count!
Thank you for providing me such a beautiful memory
I look tenderly into your face while u asleep. I felt strong love for you in within my body. I felt so strongly how precious of going thru every obstacle before we got married. I felt the joy when we first fall in love. I thank you for providing me such a loving family. I remember the excitement when we first touch each other body. I felt so honor to be your love. I felt ur happiness while u get ur result of your degree. I felt your sorrow while u were apart from me.
How should I express my love to you, my dear? How should I describe the feeling being with you?
I look at you tenderly while you asleep. It is my blessing and honor to have you, my love. Thank you for providing me such a beautiful memory.
How should I express my love to you, my dear? How should I describe the feeling being with you?
I look at you tenderly while you asleep. It is my blessing and honor to have you, my love. Thank you for providing me such a beautiful memory.
An unsend Love letter
Dearest my true love,
I love u, u must understand that I was deeply hurt before I met u. Thus, I m not a person that easily falling in love, I m a slow warmer, u need time & patient to capture my heart. However, when u captured my heart, u have my everythings. I would love u back with all my might & all I can. I would provide u faith & fidelity. Why did u give up on me when u have successfully capture my heart? & leave me now in the middle of the grieving sea? I m drowning.. I m dying.. Are u willing to give me a hand? Or you would like to watch me drown? I wish that you would lend me your hand.. A hand of hope & a hand with love.. I know there are many hands that willing to help, but I don't want their hand, I just need yours.. Have you decided? If you do, please lend me your hand fast before I drown. I am suffocated now. I can't breath. I couldn't wait any longer.. I need you now & I love u..
Please don't let me die drowning in the grieving sea.. Please! My love! Please!
Love,
Cateyepeep
I love u, u must understand that I was deeply hurt before I met u. Thus, I m not a person that easily falling in love, I m a slow warmer, u need time & patient to capture my heart. However, when u captured my heart, u have my everythings. I would love u back with all my might & all I can. I would provide u faith & fidelity. Why did u give up on me when u have successfully capture my heart? & leave me now in the middle of the grieving sea? I m drowning.. I m dying.. Are u willing to give me a hand? Or you would like to watch me drown? I wish that you would lend me your hand.. A hand of hope & a hand with love.. I know there are many hands that willing to help, but I don't want their hand, I just need yours.. Have you decided? If you do, please lend me your hand fast before I drown. I am suffocated now. I can't breath. I couldn't wait any longer.. I need you now & I love u..
Please don't let me die drowning in the grieving sea.. Please! My love! Please!
Love,
Cateyepeep
Way of Life
I cannot remember the exact words and it's structure, a friend of mine sent me an sms. Basically it means if someone overcross u & prepare to seek for forgiveness, we should not give that person hard time. What if you are not sure the person truly regreted & trying to seek for your forgiveness? Well, It's time to learn from the buddhism way of life.. "learn to open and let go the hatred of ur palm, so that you can hold the true happiness.." I pray hard to get forgiveness and hope that my God open up not only my palm, but my heart too..
The Power of one Sentence & one Step
Many years ago, a Singaporean friend told me, "U may use ten years to build a relationship, but, with one sentence, u can spoil the entire relationship"!
Today, I would like to modify his saying, "u may use ten years to build trust, but, with one step wrong, u can jeopardize what u had earn all this while.."
Similary, I remember a lady said, "It take double & tripple effort to rectify a mistake"! If it is true, how long would you take to rectify your ten years trust in a relationship?
Today, I would like to modify his saying, "u may use ten years to build trust, but, with one step wrong, u can jeopardize what u had earn all this while.."
Similary, I remember a lady said, "It take double & tripple effort to rectify a mistake"! If it is true, how long would you take to rectify your ten years trust in a relationship?
What is Childish + Selfish?
Those who act upon feeling without considering of consequences name childish
Those who act according to emotion without consideration of others name selfish,
Those who act upon feeling & emotion ruining his life and others name .....................
Fill in the blank
Those who act according to emotion without consideration of others name selfish,
Those who act upon feeling & emotion ruining his life and others name .....................
Fill in the blank
Whats Life?
Life isn't that much about destiny but a journey, a journey determine by your own choices & your evyday re-action toward what happen to you that lead to your destiny.
My strength has reach the limit
Evythg I should, I done, anything beyond I have did too. What I hope is construct rather than distroy, but, I m a human being.. I hv emotion too, why not provide me some mercy in stead of continuing putting test on me.. pls be merciful on me.. I m exhaulted, my strength has reach the limit.. I beg u..
I miss that moment
Another sleepless nigth! Digging out our conversation messages history. I miss that moment so much! Pick any msg from the list, I can see love, missing, worrying, concern & caring in ur msg.. Use ur finger & close ur eye, blindly pick any messages u wrote to me.. I saw the word like: D, Darling, I miss u, luv u both. Every sentence u wrote, I can felt passionate love deeply inside ur heart. Why is it recently you always push me away even I come closer to you?
Today, I truly wonder do u still read my msg? I even doubt that the message cannot reach you even if I broadcast it..
My heart was so painful..
Today, I truly wonder do u still read my msg? I even doubt that the message cannot reach you even if I broadcast it..
My heart was so painful..
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Exchange money with love
Ten years ago, an old buddy asked: "Would you exchange money with love?", I replied: "No..". Then he continue: "If that lady can do whatever you request? Include having chrildren, loyal to you, take care of your home, respect your parents, but she just don't love you, what she want is your money!", I insisted: "No!!"
He said I am dumb! As long as keeping her would make you happy & you can affort, you should buy her with money..
Unfortunately I have lost track with this old buddy, otherwise today I am going to ask him: "If a lady you love, she is willing to stay with you regardless you have money or not, but you are not the only one, will you keep her?"
He said I am dumb! As long as keeping her would make you happy & you can affort, you should buy her with money..
Unfortunately I have lost track with this old buddy, otherwise today I am going to ask him: "If a lady you love, she is willing to stay with you regardless you have money or not, but you are not the only one, will you keep her?"
Romantic is not where and when. It is about attitude.
I remember I read a book many years ago. There is a restaurant with 3 different couples. One pair of couple have their meal where the man was looking around seeing any attractive lady inside the restaurant and the lady was talking thru her mobile phone on business. The second pair of couple were a man & a woman having their meal without looking at each other and have their entire meal in silent. And, the last pair of couple gaze romantically into each other eyes with tenderness, love & passion while having their food.
The book explain that romantic is a kind of attitude. An attitude regardless of time and surrounding. These three pair of couples were having same environment and same type of food, however, the love within were so much of different.
The fisrt pair of couple were totally neglected the existence of each other. They have their owned life & totally doesn't border what their spouse do. May be it was some reason that still keep them being together. The second pair may be slightly better, being together may just be another form of habit, they have long lost interest for each other, but, due to habit, they are being together. It will be a stage where the second set of couple will either become like the first pair or go seperate if their relationship continue without improvement. The third pair of couple were in love, they couldn't even notice their surrounding except their partner.
As a result, romantic is not where and when. It is about attitude. An attitude on how u gaze your partner in tenderness and passion in any where at any time. If someone has lost their love in you, you will notice it. If you don't, you are either choosing not to notice it or you are the one that losing of love to your partner. Regardless of any beautiful explaination, a fact is a fact. You will notice it in which stage of your relationship if you carefully observe it. Nothing to hide or no point to find an alibi.
Your daily attitude will show.
The book explain that romantic is a kind of attitude. An attitude regardless of time and surrounding. These three pair of couples were having same environment and same type of food, however, the love within were so much of different.
The fisrt pair of couple were totally neglected the existence of each other. They have their owned life & totally doesn't border what their spouse do. May be it was some reason that still keep them being together. The second pair may be slightly better, being together may just be another form of habit, they have long lost interest for each other, but, due to habit, they are being together. It will be a stage where the second set of couple will either become like the first pair or go seperate if their relationship continue without improvement. The third pair of couple were in love, they couldn't even notice their surrounding except their partner.
As a result, romantic is not where and when. It is about attitude. An attitude on how u gaze your partner in tenderness and passion in any where at any time. If someone has lost their love in you, you will notice it. If you don't, you are either choosing not to notice it or you are the one that losing of love to your partner. Regardless of any beautiful explaination, a fact is a fact. You will notice it in which stage of your relationship if you carefully observe it. Nothing to hide or no point to find an alibi.
Your daily attitude will show.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Cuddle of comfort
Many years ago, while I was in trauma, I cried in the middle of the night due to some nightmare. I am scare that the nightmare will turn into reality. Someone silently cuddle me from the back. Tonight, I cry too. Not because of scare, but, hurt! The person who cuddled me many years ago had turn into a stranger. Another stranger many years ago had become my closest mate.. A person I love today more than the person who cuddle me many years ago. However, there is no more cuddle that console my hurt..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)